Autism- The Dreaded 6 Letter Word

Since I got back from the Option Institute, I have noticed an increase in Nathan's stims.
That is to say, more flapping, zoning out etc.
I am not sure if it was my week away that has caused this, with his change in routine, or whether I am better able to discern them now.
It does appear that he is more Autistic than I initially thought which is a little disparaging.
He is also apparently trying to pay me back for having been gone or just making his displeasure known as he has been spitting in my hair and taking opportunities slyly to smack me on the bum when I am otherwise occupied.
Kathleen returned to her screaming.
Indescriminate high pitched wailing anytime of the day or night for no obvious reason.
It had been gone for approx 7-8 months and I really didn't miss it.
I spent Saturday night waiting for the Sheriff''s car to appear but, I guess my neighbours are used to it by now.

There is so much to do.
It is a little overwhelming and I am not sure where to start.
This pregnancy is knocking the stuffing out of me and I am nauseous and exhausted most of the time.

Paul had an accident at work on the Monday after I returned and it looks as if he broke at least one bone in his hand. So he had to miss a couple of days there.
He does not get paid for any days off and already had taken six days off while I was at the course so it means that our paycheck this week will be pretty close to non existent.
We live paycheck to paycheck and I wiped out our savings going to the course.
We spend any money left over looking for options for the children.
So it is looking pretty bleak and more than a little disheartening.

I still have to go to war with the school about doing Nathan's home program and I am not looking forward to that either as quite frankly I am getting tired of having to fight for everything.
Isn't it enough that I have three children with Autism?
Why should I have to attend weekly meetings to ensure that the school is doing what they are meant to and that the teacher isn't screwing around.
Should I be the one monitoring this. Isn't the principal the one who is meant to be doing this?

I guess that today is not a real good day for me as I am bawling while I write this.
I am just so sick and tired of having to fight for everything.
I am not a bad person. I am not nasty or impolite.
Why is it so hard for me all the time.
I am sick of having to be strong and tough.
Just once I would like someone to look after me for a little bit.
A champion or just a little light at the end of the tunnel.

I just got back from my week at the Option Institute.
Wow!
What an eye opener.
Apart from all the knowledge that was imparted to me I got an awful lot out of it.
I was in a group of 69 people.
I am no longer alone.
I know 68 other people who are going through the same thing that I am.
What a difference just knowing that makes.
That alone made it all worthwhile.
I have 68 phone numbers and email addresses so I can contact them if I become lonely or dispirited.
And every day now, I know that 68 people are rooting for me and wishing me well.
You can't ask for much more than that.
They taught us that to heal our children we need to get to their level and try to understand what they are doing by joining with them so the child sees that you are not judging them. Just trying to love them as they are.
Then we were taught to make our world more exciting so they could see that interaction with us could be pleasurable and make them want to be with us more and more.
I really look forward to Christmas this year.
My children will be doing so much better and will be able to understand more about it.
I signed up for another course in November.
I am looking at the big picture.
I would ultimately like to become an educator so that I can go into people's homes and show them how to run their own programs and help their children.
I met parents who had used the Son Rise program on their children and had healed them.
No one says that it is easy.
It takes time and effort but, it is worth it.
Wow.

Yesterday I took John for his entry to Kindergarten physical.
It was put on by the local public health nurse who I am friends with.
She was supported by other health nurses from other districts.
Wow.
Two ladies came to find me.
One has a 19 yr old Autistic son with ADHD.
The other who has a friend who raises her Autistic grandson who is 8 yrs old.
They were obviously very happy to meet me which makes a pleasant change and asked lots of questions.
We all had a pleasant chat and both asked me to contact them when I get back from the Option Institute which I will do.
So, from thinking that I am the only up here with this affliction to knowing that there are others who are dealing with it and supporting what I am doing, what a major change!
It is nice to know that I am not alone.
Maybe there is a reason that my children were born Autistic.
Maybe the people up here needed a voice and a champion.
That I certainly can do and will do.
We will beat this thing!

As an aside, for some reason, yesterday the nausea left me.
I ate 2 ham sandwiches and 2 sticky buns for lunch.
Best meal I had in days.
Then I felt sick. LOL.

It is sickness 24/7!!!!
I am trying to eat a high protein diet as it is said that a lot of Autistic kids are missing proteins in their diet and I want to give this baby the best chance that I can.
Well, that is easier said than done.
About the only thing that I can keep down is jam sandwiches.

I don't eat a lot of meat as I don't really like the taste anymore.
Can't eat fish as it contains Mercury.

Makes it really dificult. But, I will keep trying.
Hopefully it will be over within the next 8 months. I am sure I can keep going that long.

Nathan was awake at 3am this morning.
Doesn't like to stay up by himself too much so he woke up Kathleen.
She is always up for a party and the two of them are in the loungeroom making every toy that makes a noise, make it's noise.

He won't be too happy about going to school today.
And I am sure that Kathleen will be napping before too long.

We took the 5 children to the local market yesterday and nathan was first in line.
He put a bottle of coke on the counter and the elderly gentleman in line said to him "is that mine?"
He reiterated, "Is that for me?"
Nathan of course didn't say anything and he was intent on waiting for the boy to ring it up.
I said to the man so he wouldn't think that Nathan was ignoring him "He doesn't speak"
He replied "I know, I've prayed for him"
And with that, he turned and left.
It took me a minute to think and understand what the gentleman said.
It is quite possibly the nicest thing that anyone has said to me in a long time.
I don't know who he is and I will probably never see him again.
But, thank you whoever you are, for caring.

More than anything, I hate people who lie to me.
I don't do it.
If you don't want to hear the truth then don't ask me a question.
It is so unnecessary.
When people lie, then they have to spend so much time and effort covering up their stories.
What a lot of wasted energy!
The school where my Autistic sons are at is a lot like that.
They will tell you something in one sentence then turn around and revoke or deny what they have said.
Stupidity is what I call it.
If you can't remember what you have already told me then, maybe, you need to write the stuff down.
That way you won't get caught out when you open your mouth again.
Approx half way thru the school year, the new para was busy telling me what the resource teacher was not doing and then yesterday when she called she turned her story around.
Got to the point where I check everything and trust no one.
In my job, I couldn't afford to have an off day.
Imagine a Registered Nurse going in to the hospital and saying "you know, I don't really feel like doing my job today, too bad if Mrs Brown doesn't get the treatment she deserves and ends up loses her life. Oh well"
It just couldn't happen.
These people seem to think that their job must be less important. Because if they just cruise along all year, the boys have to come back next year.
Guess that is what they call job security.
My thought is that if they keep this crap up, they won't have jobs to come back to next year.

I go to the Option Institute in less than a week.
I will find an answer.
I will cure my boys!

My life is fairly full.
Even without having the 3 Autistic children, having 5 children age 6 and under would be enough to make you want to pull your hair out somedays.
In a couple of weeks I go to the Option Institute in Massachusetts and I am looking forward to it.
I hate flying though!
Getting close to the end of the school year, it has been a time of getting things organised for summer school.
That is going to be an interesting adjustment.
A week here a week there.
The kids are not going to know where they are meant to be.
Well, if that wasn't enough, yesterday, my older dog who occasionally gets nose bleeds for no particular reason decides to sneeze up one heck of a clot.
I picked it up and cleaned up after him then went into the bathroom and threw up.
That sent warning bells screaming through my head!
So, when I had a spare moment I went up to the store for an EPT.
You guessed it!
I am pregnant.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry so I did a little of both.
Here I am with 5 children already, a marriage that is shaky at best and probably wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for the children, and having the constant fear that as Autism is more likely to continue in the same family my new baby may be Autistic.

My husband and I rarely have sex what with the children, the exhaustion and our fighting. So I am thinking that I am probably about 3 months along already.
I can't tell my family. They are going to have a coronary.
Life can't get much better than this.

I am going to keep the child. And I will love it no matter how things turn out.
But the timing could have been better.

And I will get the child screened on a monthly basis after it turns one for Autism so I can start an early intervention program.

In my previous post about Nathan starting to talk, I neglected to mention that I had put him on a new product 4 days previously.
One of my friends who uses the Isagenix cleanse for her health had told me that one of their doctors had done a study on the effects on Autism using small amounts of the total body cleanse.
It is all natural products.
So, I started him on the 1oz daily mixed with his apple juice in the morning.
And 4 days later, Wham. We have words.
He is now up to 70 functional words that he is using on a regular basis and we are working on building these up.
Strangely enough, I for some reason, had not started John on it at the same time.
My friend when I called and told her the great news reiterated that it worked for ADD and ADHD which John has.
So, I started John on it about 5 days ago.
Wow is all I can say!
What a difference in his behaviour.
I did not tell his teacher that I had started him on it as I wanted an unbiased observation.
She commented to me that he appears to be paying more attention to what is going on and getting through his school work well.
His temper tantrums have decreased significantly and he can be redirected reasonably effortlessly.
He got home from school yesterday, climbed out of the car and turned to Nathan and said "comeon Nathan, we're home".
Then he reached back into the car to help Nathan out.
Nathan was having trouble getting his seat belt undone so John undid it for him and helped him out.
When it was pointed out to John that his backpack was still in the car, he climbed back in and grabbed them both and handed them to me.
Then he walked inside the house.
What a difference!
And a pleasant young man he was for the rest of the evening. Playing appropriately with his sisters.
When it was time for bed, he requested a story which I read to him.
Then he took the book and retold the story by looking at and describing the pictures.
Then he went quietly off to sleep.

I will continue to monitor the symptoms of their Autism and update on a regular basis but, for all intents and purposes it looks like it is working.

The new resource teacher that arrived from Montana came in with a rush and a roar, promising great things and expecting great things from my two Autistic boys.
The first thing she did was clash greatly with their old resource teacher, the speech therapist.
Those two went at it hammer and thongs and it wasn't long before it was affecting the boys schooling so I contacted West River and asked them to step in.
A meeting was had at the school and the after effects was that the speech therapist removed all the equipment that she had lent the resource teacher from the kids classroom and left a note that said "read books".

Well, wasn't that grown up and productive!

The best friend of the speech therapist happened to be one of the paras working with my boys. We had never had a stellar working relationship and I guess that the meeting kind of put the kybosh on the whole thing and she would go days without saying anything to me when dropping off or picking up my kids. Not good.

I asked if there was a chance of having her replaced because I had also had the boys on some herbs that were meant to be given 3 times a day, so after going thru all the rigmarole of signing the forms for the school so they were able to give a dose at lunchtime, come to find out that she wasn't giving it to John, she was tipping it out.

Needless to say, I wasn't too impressed.

Called another meeting at the school. By this time I was getting a little irate and less prepared to put up with too much more crap. The resource teacher was telling me that the speech therapist was making nasty little digs at her. I was getting tired of hearing about that, sort it out I told her. It had nothing to do with me.
Then after the second meeting was held, I got a visit.
From Social Services.
I had been reported for Abuse And Neglect.
I just about fell over.
The social services dept were being used as a harassment tool!

I let her in, did her interview, inspected the house and kids.
Inwardly I was absolutely fuming!
I informed her that I knew the name of the person who had done this heinous thing and asked if she liked being used as a form of harassment to bring me back into line.
She said that she could understand my anger, but, they were obligated to investigate when someone reported something.

Push come to shove, when it was all over, they found nothing against me and the care of my children but, they did recommend Protection and Advocacy Services for dealing with the school.

I visited with the head master who fudged and hemmed and hawwed but, stupidly, did admit it was the para who had made the call to Social Services. He didn't want to have her removed from the care of my two Autistic sons, but I pushed the issue and she was later moved to a different room.
We have since settled our differences and although, will never be friends, we are at least civil to one another.

I contacted the speech therapist and said enough was enough. Anything she has to say about my boys she will say straight to me. It was at this time I thought I was getting a warped view point provided by the resource teacher and her rush and roar had gone down to a slow fizzle.

It was then that I was provided with the most wonderful sentence in the world by a great friend.

It goes: If things do not improve then I will formalize a written complaint with the Dept Of Public Instruction.
Boy does that make people move.
The resource teacher had taken advantage of the fact that I had said that the boys could go out on field trips. I wrote it down for a week, bank, PO, Dairy Queen, her house.
Actually turned out to be her chore list.

That stopped real quick.
The head master was made aware that he had better start paying attention to what goes on in the special Ed Dept or there were going to be ramifications.

I may be a tough parent to work with but, I only want what is best for my children, and if I don't do it, my Autistic sons won't do it, who will.

Nathan is going to be 7 in August.
He is Autistic with mutism.
He has not spoken since he was 14 mths old.
One of my friends suggested a couple of weeks back that I put Nathan on 1 oz of Isacleanse. She said some studies had been done and they were doing great things with just small amounts of the Isacleanse.
It is totally herbal so I started adding 1 oz in his juice in the morning.
Nathan sucked it up with no complaints which was nice.
Within 4 days, he started having regular bowel movements by himself.
Yay, no more holding him to give him glycerin suppositories. (Nathan would hold his bowels for 7 days).
A few days later, he climbed on my lap one night and wrapped his arms around my neck.
He looked into my eyes and said very slowly and carefully " I Love You".
Then he put his cheek to my lips to indicate that I was to kiss him. Which I did, over and over again.
I have waited over 5 yrs to hear him say that to me again.
5 Yrs. It felt like forever.
He has told me that he loves me every day since then.
He currently has a vocabulary of about 50 words, some clearer than others. He sounds a little like Helen Keller, but, I am sure that will improve in time.
Nathan, I love you more.